Papa

Papa

I walked through the little brown door of the big brown building in Queens, the smell of delicious biscuits baking in the oven was overwhelming, I went straight to the living room, and sat down next to my grandmother in law, today she looked better, she had her baby-pink house dress on, her hair silver white, and her face bright behind a big smile. “You look great today grandma” I said, “cause you are here to visit me” she said and laughed her usual loud and vibrant laugh, “did you see this picture of my father and mother before?” she pointed at a big black and white picture on top of the chimney, “yes, your father was a very tall man, you look more like him” I said, “my father was a wonderful man, everyone loved him” she said as her eyes sparkled like she is about to tell a wonderful tale, “when we were children, we used to play with the white kids, and they’d come to our house, and papa used to give them whatever he gives us, he gave us treats and candy, he treated everyone the same, everyone loved my father” she sunk back in her seat smiling.

Jamel (my husband) asked his grandma about one of his aunties, she told us she’s fine then she added “when her son asks her to get him something, she tells him to ask his father to get it, and then the boy gets upset thinking no one wants to get him anything, that’s just not right, when adults fight and don’t get along, they shouldn’t take it out on the young children, my father never did that, papa always gave us what we wanted, that’s why we were all brats” she said and laughed very loud, with the same spark in her eyes. At that point, I started thinking of my father’s big smile and bright hazel eyes. “Kids look up to their parents, they remember, and they never forget, I would have been dead if it wasn’t for my father, you see, papa was loved by everyone, respected by everyone, when we were in South Carolina, I got bit by a poisonous snake, I was only a child, and this white man found me, and he said “you’re Johnnie “Duck” Ross’ daughter aren’t you, I know your father, let’s take you to a hospital child” and there they saved my life, they said I was right on time, if I have gotten there a minute later, I’d have died, the white man said he wouldn’t have done it if I was any other black child, but because he loved my father, he did it, then he took me all the way home” she said as she ran her fingers across her smiling lips, with her eyes gazing around as if she’s watching it all happen again, I was watching her with big, eyes thinking about the time my “Baba” jumped down the stairs, twenty steps at a time, and pushed the dogs off me, I was screaming, bleeding, and scared, he carried me, put me in the car, and drove me to the hospital, my daddy saved my life once too.

“How was your mother like?” I asked grandma, she said “she was a good woman, she taught us how to behave, she kept us straight, but papa let us do what we wanted, and she’d scream at him when he lets us go wild, papa made us all brats” she said and laughed out loud again. It’s amazing what fathers do. Just the week before we were in the car, Nader, Jamel and I, after visiting his father, “he’s a very unique man” Nader said, “yes he is, he does everything for himself, from building his own stairs in his house to building a whole new room in his basement” Jamel replied, “you guys look exactly like each other” I said, “yeah, he never came to any of my graduations, when I graduated from junior high, he drove me to the school, then left” Jamel said, Nader and I remained silent. “He got me things I was young, but he was never there, you know how I knew I have a little sister? One day he called me to help him move, I go there and I see this little girl running around, I asked “who is this kid?” and he said “that’s your sister” she was 2 years old then! And that’s how I found out I have a new sister” Jamel added, “well… you used to live in Virginia right? That’s like seven hours away” Nader said trying to find any excuse, “no, that was when I lived down the block” Jamel replied, “what matters is now, I never wanna be “The cash machine” to my children, I wanna be there, every step, every class, every fall every tear and every smile, I wanna be there” Jamel added staring at the snowy highway ahead.

When we were young, baba used to play with us those educational/intellectual games, he would grab some toys and stuff from around the house, get a sheet, and cover them with it, then tell us to put our hands under the sheet, and try to figure out what the objects were. Another one was the memory game, he would show us a bunch of things, then cover them, and asks us to name them, and whoever named more things, won. My favorite game, was “El-Kinz” The treasure, he used to hide something, usually a written note with something exciting we’re gonna do, or an award, and he would draw a map to get to the “Treasure” and hide little keys and notes leading to the treasure everywhere, and Nader and I would go around looking for leads, we played this game indoors and outdoors, I loved that game. We went to the toy store one time, and I wanted that big Barbie Dream house so bad, it was just like what getting a Nikon D300 means to me today, and likewise, it was too expensive to get at the time, baba went and got wood, white and green paint, all sort of nails and material, and started working on my dream house, he built me a two-story house with an attic, it was white outside, had a green roof, and green doors and windows, floors covered with blue carpets all over the house, and little winding stairs connecting all three floors, I can’t remember how long it took baba to build it, but it was beautiful, it was about four feet tall, and three feet wide, I called it “El-bait” The house, and he got me a little doll to live in it, it was my favorite thing to play with, it brook my heart having to leave it behind when we moved, I still love “El-bait” till today.

“Have you spoken to your father lately Jamel?” Grandma asked, “yeah, I was at his house last week, he asked about you”, “oh that’s nice that you visit him, Papa always told us to keep the family connected, my father was a very nice man, everyone loved him, he never hurt nobody, he was never mean, when other kids came to our house, he gave them like he gave us, all the children alike, everyone loved papa” she said and relaxed back in her seat.

Noha Elsewaify
February 2009